Bad news: Whoever coined the reassuring catchphrase “size doesn’t matter” may have lied.
According to a new study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, one-third of women who frequently have vaginal orgasms claim they’re more likely toclimax when having sex with men with larger penises
Researchers asked more than 300 women how often they had sex, how frequently they had vaginal and/or clitoral orgasms, and whether or not penis length influenced their ability to orgasm during intercourse. Out of the 160 women who often experienced vaginal-only orgasms and had enough partners to compare sizes, one third said they preferred longer-than-average penises.
What exactly does “average” count for these days? Science reveals the average penis size
But before you start freaking out that you don’t measure up, keep this in mind: 60 percent of the women in the survey did report that size made no difference. What’s more, when Men’s Health surveyed 3,289 women on how happy they are with their sex lives, only 7 percent of sexually satisfied women said that penis size was critical to their pleasure.
So sure, size may matter to some women—for some types of orgasms. But the good news is you can outsmart your size even if you—err—come up short. Your secret weapons? Passion, foreplay, and variety. Here’s how to make them work for you.
1. Give Her a Rubdown
It isn’t your penis that keeps women coming back for more—it’s your passion, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., sexologist and Astroglide’s Health and Wellness Ambassador. But that doesn’t always mean ripping her clothes off as soon as you close the bedroom door. Women want to feel appreciated, and sometimes nonsexual touching is more of a turn-on than going straight for her butt or breasts, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of Loveology University, an online resource for sex knowledge.
Try this: Before you begin rounding the basis, start small. “Run your fingers through her hair, caress her jaw line, and return to massaging her scalp,” says Cadell. Continue to work your fingers down her neck and on to her shoulders, stopping the massage every so often to briefly kiss her on the back of her head or on her ear. If this type of affection feels a little foreign, the new sensations will definitely wake up her senses, Cadell says. (Rubdowns aren’t just great for the bedroom—see how you can Fix Anything with Massage.)
2. Ice, Ice Baby!
If foreplay to you means a couple minutes of hands-on-breasts action, it’s time for a serious upgrade. “You need to show her you’re not in a hurry,” says Cadell.
Try this: Remove her bra so you can kiss, nibble, and lick all over her breasts. Take her nipple in your mouth and roll your tongue around its perimeter. Then pop an ice cube in your mouth and repeat the process. Once her nipple’s erect from temperature spike, remove the cube and continue until your mouth and tongue is warm again. Using ice can be highly erotic, Cadell says, especially when you’re alternating between a warm mouth and a cold tongue.
3. Enhance Your Erection
Once she’s ready to go, choose a flattering position. “Avoid missionary,” says Jen Landa, M.D., author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women. “You’re not able to penetrate as deep and the angle doesn’t really accentuate your size.” Instead, try these two positions from The Men’s Health Big Book of Sex.
How it works: Have her lie face down on the bed with her knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of her hips, place a pillow under her lower abs. From here, enter her from behind and keep your weight off of her by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit, and it’ll intensify her pleasure by making you feel larger to her.
How it works: Lie on your back and have her climb on top to straddle you. For comfort, and to help her support her balance while on top, extend your hands toward her. This position allows for a variety of interesting sights and sensations, and offers her the psychological advantage of taking charge of pace and depth of penetration. And if you’re not equipped with porn star-sized assets: Alternate between shallow and deep thrusts. “Shallow will stimulate the front third of the vagina, which is the most sensitive,” says sex therapist Rebecca Rosenblat, author of Seducing Your Man. (And when you’re done with those, here are 4 more sex positions every man must try.)